Friday, February 12, 2010

Maybe yes, maybe no.

If there's one thing that I badly need right now, it's time for myself. Time to think, to reflect and be alone. The Calatagan trip last weekend served as a stress reliever and great escape. Imagine the vast sky with infinite stars, the cold breeze that made us shiver, the waves rushing to meet the sand and the deafening silence. Gah. Very relaxing.

Monday came and I had to go back to reality. My close friend backed out and withdrew her candidacy. And there I was, devastated and half-hearted. The past few days, I've been going home so late and stressed out. I was having a strong feeling that I'll eventually burst and breakdown anytime soon. Last night, I felt all the stress sinking in and that's when I suddenly felt tears running down. I could no longer afford going home really late, spend almost the whole day campaigning and let my studies suffer. Again, I saw myself as the helpless little girl with nothing left to do but to breakdown and cry. All of the uncertainties and apprehensions flashed right before me.

A part of me badly wants to give up. I could no longer take all this stress! Nobody said it would be this hard. Can somebody take me back to the start?

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