I miss you quite terribly.

They say you’ll never know what you got until it’s gone. Tonight, I‘ve come to realize that that statement is so damn true.

I remember vividly that it was dinner time when my parents told me that I’ll be going to college in UPLB. I was in a total state of shock and instantly, tears fell down my face. I didn’t want to move away from home and I had a lot of fears and apprehensions running through my mind. However, I didn’t want to be a failure to them so I was left with no other choice but to study in UPLB.

College was all about freedom and independence. In my case, it was independence in its purest form. I had to pack my things, leave home and enter a completely different world all by myself.

My first week was filled with tears, depression and wishful thinking. This was evident in my school ID where my eyes were swollen and my smile was as sarcastic as it can get. I wasn’t used to sleeping alone, eating alone and even walking alone. I badly wanted to go back. To go back to the place I call home – real home. I can never forget how happy I was when my parents fetched me and I could finally see city lights and Manila chaos. The feeling was remarkable. Surreal but nice.

Countless of times, I prayed that I could leave UPLB and transfer to Diliman the following year. Time passed by so rapidly and the next thing I knew, I was saying goodbye to the place which my best friend used to call hell hole.

So why am I writing this? Why now?

It’s just that the past few days, I’ve been missing UPLB badly. I miss Westbrook despite the steep pathway and security issues. I miss my dorm room and my roommate even though she used to be away so often. I miss watching TV Patrol at the Westbrook cafeteria with Joyce, Hanah and Kianne. I miss our never-ending stories, gossips and simply them as the inseparable trio. I miss DevCom, my blockmates and the very homey environment in the college. Almost everyone knew each other and treated each one as family. I miss my Math11 buddies and how we chatted with each other and ignored Ma’am Doray’s lectures ‘cos we were too busy making fun of her fashion sense. I miss walking with Asher, Jayjay, Vladz, Judith, Kayla, Janna, Mike and Gabby after our Math class. I miss how much Danica and I despised our bellydancing class and our demanding professor. I miss Red Room lunches after Econ11 with Mike, Janna and Gabby. I miss Westbrook dinners with Nins and Elie. I miss going to the St. Therese Chapel every Thursday to hear mass and where I’d usually bump into Jayjay, Pam, Pat and Vane. I miss staying in for the weekend just to prepare and study with Jayjay, Vladz and Asher for the Math midterm exam. I miss seeing Jose and his weirdness which is in a cool kind of way. I miss going to Raymundo with my Diwatas every Monday afternoon to eat fish balls filled with e-coli. Haha. I miss playing TapTap2 in Francis’ iTouch and him walking me home while we’re singing She Will Be Loved out loud. I miss Asher’s apartment which served as my second home in LB. I miss the people, the place, everything. I miss you quite terribly, UP Los Banos.

As I end this note, a sad smile is etched into my face. I feel like I've taken that year for granted. I let everything pass by in front of me in just a blink of an eye. I wasn't able to cherish and savor the moment. I may no longer be in UPLB but the memories will forever be in my heart. I didn’t just learn to commute and to cross the street but I was able to call myself independent. Not everyone gets the chance to stay in a dorm, live alone and experience total freedom. Not everyone gets the chance to meet people who will change their life forever. I'm proud to say that I'm one of those people who got those chances. To this, I’ll always be grateful. UPLB, I hope to see you real soon!